Extremely sad.

I don't know how should I say or describe about yesterday morning. Let's just say I was feeling extremely bored, so I started to let my thoughts run wild. Then I thought I might need someone to talk to. But i don't know who. So I just randomly picked one of my closer ones which is zoe(plain boredness), missed call her(my phone can't do outgoing calls) oh and i can't call joey, both of our phones cannot make it.(as in no money call) she returned me with a text, asking me if I needed to talk to her or what(that was what the message meant, roughly) I hesistated and decided not to give a reply(i'm sorry).

So. Because I really have nothing to do, I borrowed a piece of foolscap from est and started writing. I was feeling so horrible. The thought of all that making me feel hell. I kept thinking and thinking. I suddenly realized what it means by missing someone dearly. But I am not sure if I do. I thought of what jerald and jp told me, i kept having doubts. I continued and just wrote on. I skipped my recess because I really have no appetite at all. I teared while writing all the nonsense. I really really wished someone was there at the moment, but who?

I became so sad i keep trying to hide. But to no avail, my tears kept flowing down unknowingly, not under my control anymore. To an extent that I have to go to the toilet to calm myself down. I was telling jp i am sad i am sad i am so very sad. But when he asked me what is it I am sad about I didn't utter a word. I kept silent and just shook my head. It's dumb of me to do that I know. but what else can i do? I don't know what is the correct method to get rid of that irritating feeling. I have made several attempts but everytime it ends up the same, it would work out awhile then end up me feeling horrible all over again.

I'm sorry to friends whom I didn't speak the truth to yesterday. It's my fault, sorry. I just didn't felt and don't know how to express my feeling at the point of time. I was teary the whole day. ass. By the way, if you do respect me, please do not probe me about this. It's too private and confidential.

Also, my classmates always says I am forever sad, I don't smile and laugh. I don't like the way you people say I am sad. I AM SAD. but so what? but how? it couldn't be helped at all. I don't wanna be this way too. I tried to blend in everytime but I fail everytime. This circle just doesn't suits me i guess. I am always happier outside than I am in class. I even like somehow teared when N/R talked to me, and apparently his joke was funny, but I was just forcing a smile while on the other hand those damn tears were welling up in my eyes. kept thinking 'bout all the impossiblities. tearing and crying is all i can do, because if i don't it'll be all coop in my heart and it will be very unbearable for me.

Still, I felt whole lot better in the noon after being with my very very very good friends who never failed to make me laugh. LOL

I ALWAYS BELIEVED THIS WAS A JOKE. AND I HOPE IT WILL STAY THAT WAY. BUT AT ANOTHER CORNER, DO I REALLY FEEL THIS WAY? WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT, NOBODY CAN TELL.

Know what? Fairytales DON'T come true in reality

Hi guys! As promised, I will blog about monday, kinda late though :/
Went to WWW with the kalipoks and Joey PP. Had an extremely fun day with them BUT.. so much freaking xiasuey stuffs fall upon me that day.
Even I was laughing at MYSELF. It was seriosuly funny, and I wouldn't blame my friends for laughing at me.
Still, I had fun and fooooooooood(I wna make it sound long lol) loved it MUHAHAHAHAHA :D
i apologise cos i don't wna upload all the pictures up, too time-consuming.

for yesterday, prawning was great!! had so much fun but i brought lots of trouble to the boys in my group, hahaha.
i'm so sorry guys. i'm a beginner and a noob in prawing.
there's an educational tour at the prawn farm, not much really i thought we would be really touring around the farm lol.
here's a picture of 3-9 we took at the prawn farm. and this is our first group picture taken outdoor.
anyway it isn't the WHOLE of 3-9. oh i'm so glad i got my class and CCA photos!! Hahah.
tks jp and jerald for helping me clear my doubts to ya.

bout today, i really have totally no comments. Gosh, we were inform about the new school rules.
So thankful that my shoes were accpetable, except for the part that everyone who knows what shoe i'm wearing turned and look at me.
it was so embarrassing. lol actually i don't mind la. cos i don't really see much pri school kids wearing my shoes.
and i think my shoes are so comfortable and convenient to wear. hehs ;)
had a really good talk with jp in the range too, i hope my advice to me him is helpful and hopefully he will wake up from his senses.
oh and how i wish i have already GRADUATED. ugh

gonna be in the library with ts, kayal and ram tmrw, hopefully joey too . I don't know if she'll be coming to school tomorrow.
and also hopefully we will be able to do something productive and not waste time.
Have to complete my journal as well, i love writing journals! :)
Goodnight ya all!
P/S: I haven't been having sufficient sleep this few nights. I feel so tired almost everyday.

ugh i can't open my mail and its so irritatingggggggggg. plus i'm so curious to know what's inside.this is shit.

Hi people!! I am so bored right now. and tired. My eyelids are super heavy. For the whole day i have been in this sleepy status. Gosh. I wonder how did i pull through my day. Anyway the new steps for jazz are so cool! Hahaha. I heard that school magazine can only be recieved next year! Make me so sad ): Prawning tomorrow!! Ahahahahas:D heard is fun

Today is such a fun and tiring day.
I'll blog some other time. Need to get sufficient sleep cos I slept at 2 last night and there's school and dance tomorrow. Crap.
Anyway we will be getting our school magazine tmrw as what i heard from zoe.
Wee! Excited =D and IC also, i think ;)
Another good news is that I have tons of new pictures waiting to be uploaded so stay tune!though i don't know if i'll be uploading 'em.
Have a great sleep tonight people! :)

Love, G.

Prawning on next wed for the first time ever in my life ;) It was meant for SPA skill 3.
Quite interesting i think? Haha cos i never fish/prawn before. Hehehes.
Anyway i turned down the JJC thing for chem SPA skills and i kinda regretted, :(
But it was for the sake of going to WWW with my dearests ok! :) haha see ain't i good
Aiyo but i still think i'm silly for turning it down, mrs lau even made a call specially to my mum asking if i'm interested eh.
So dumb to reject her because i'm super keen. sighs. but i should go enjoy myself before some hardcore studying starts :/

anyway you might want to click on this url below for some laughs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD9VwGWWqeU
it's so funny!! :D pck ALWAYS makes me laugh.
oh, don't forget to watch pck sdn bhd on 5 every tues, 830pm :)

I wonder if your words are true.

Compare!!!

Which do you like better? I'm just bored and wanted to do a comparison. For me, I think I like Taiwan's version of F4 better :)
If you have anything to object/comment on, feel free to comment me on top.
This is so lame.

I found out something unbelievable

I almost cried when Mrs Lim talked to me today, it wasn't planned in the first place at all. Huiyi just wanted to ask her something and we went on and on. And finally..
She told me something that really shocked me. I felt sour then, tears started welling up.
Anyway that wasn't the main point, I just never thought schools can be that 'despicable'.
I thought that schools always help us plan the best route down our life, but no, i was wrong.
Schools make people feel unrealistic then thereafter tell you to BE realistic, how nonsensical is that? why must schools do this to us?
we are only at the age of 15, not any older, do you know how much it hurts? why force them do things that are not up to their mark?
why make everyone so stressed up when this is not what they are supposed to go through.
This is so unfair, i'm feeling sad for them. Maybe that's how life goes in sg, we have to adapt. And i know myself, i don't adapt easily.

Secondly, i know i let mrs lim down. She expected so much more from me, i dont know why i performed so badly.
I spent my day and night, my weekends, turning away everything just to spare time for my studies.
but it turned out this way. what went wrong? why must it turn out this way? haven't i put in enough effort?
I don't know why lah. I felt surreal when I first got my paper. It turns out that i actually blend in with the people around me. It felt different.
She told me to think of the bright side. She sure is positive, but i know i won't be able to be so.
Brings my mood so down whenever i think of it.

I could only read and think and stare but i could not help because you said not to.
All i could do is to stop him from asking and hurting you, i wouldn't want things to change.
I want to good old things to remain, and to be back. I do not want things that hurt you .
Because you are somebody i treasure somebody i love . it doesn't matter if you know
i just want you to be happy . though i am sad that you did not share it with me but it's perfectly alright
i understand and i know you will tell me when the time comes, but i felt as if i failed as a role of your ...

Sorry for all this crap bet chiu won't know what i am talking about but it's ok it's only meant for me to know :)
I am just feeling very emotional today , i need to cheer up.
Last but not least,
It is such a blessing to have Mrs Lim as my Physics teacher.

this is my 100th post anyway but i don't know how many times have i deleted my posts ever since 2006 so not accurate de lah :P

AEM

This draft was supposed to be posted on September but i dragged it all the way till mid-oct which is now. anyway, this post is talking about days at SP during my practicals and excluding things that happened during theory lessons.

AEM course has ended on 22 September. And of course I was feeling sad about it.
But it can't be helped. everything will eventually come to an end one day.
Here are some pictures:

Day 1. I still remembered i was wearing jeans that day and it was so hot, it felt like my legs were tightly wrapped by some foil.
This is a group picture taken with the help of Dova and a very irritating Alvin as the background. :)

Snap shot took by Jiaqi while I was in the midst of doing my practicals. I think it was the facial wash one.

Whoa look at the long stretch of bottles. They're ALL fragrances. You must be shocked. Hahahahahahahaha.

A random group photo. We were taking photos madly in the lab. Ms Hoe was rather mad and Qiuxuan accidentally smacked her butt without knowing it was actually Ms Hoe. See how well Ms Hoe blend in with us;)

After almost the whole day of practical, all of us were dead beat besides we worked hard and had fun. Macdonalds kept us happy :)

Day 2 was another tiring day. Woke up super early and just can't stop yawning in the laboratory.

The process of doing our makeup remover. The coloring look gross i know, that is because there were limited colorings to choose from and are not very likeable. Anyway, our products are not meant to be sold in the departmental stores. Heh heh.

Some group pictures we took that day. Not much as Ms Hoe warned us not to play with our phones cause we can't concentrate with our lab work once we start taking photos.oops* =P

Day 3. Feeling sad as it's the last day of practicals. Can't believe 3 days just pass like that. Only managed to snap like few pictures as everyone was busy with their experiments.

My products. Top left: Facial wash, Bottom left: Toning gel, Top right: Moisturizer, Bottom right: Makeup remover and the extreme right pink thing is a soap bar which is shaped like a heartbut was disfigured when Ms Hoe and I tried to get it out of the mould :(

Last day of AEM. Practicals and theory has all ended. It was a relief and a load off our shoulders but also a saddening moment to bid goodbye to SP.Plus, I didn't get a chance to take a picture of the 20 of us with the two lecturers (Ms Hoe & Joseph)They ran off before I could stop them.I didn't manage to take a picture with the clown, Joseph as well.

FYI. He's not really hilarious instead bit retarded to me.
But i think to the others he's funny, he even tried to make me treat him large green tea from Macdonalds.
Nevertheless, I must say, he IS really friendly.
Love calling him 'Joseph' instead of 'Mr Chan'. Way too formal.
haha and Florence aka technician I dont miss her
Because she's way too bossy and the way she speaks English is so funny. Gosh, i am evil.

Overall, lab work was not bad, just that it stinks sometimes and it really tests our patience.
I passed my test but it wasn't a very good grade.
On the other hand, I'm glad that our presentation and data sheets were done perfectly. Kudos to Joanne Soh. (:

I wish secondary school life was better.
Maybe we could bring in food during lessons like in SP.
So that we can pay more attention in class and spent more time in class instead having to make a trip down to the canteen to eat.
Wasted 30mins of my life.
Ok this is so crap.

I shall end here. Hopefully you enjoyed this overdued post.
toodles =)

Monday night got nothing to watch thus i have no choice but to face the computer.
I have nothing to blog and want to blog about nothing. I just wanna say that i think i'm very blessed=)
I keep recieving texts that are really really so heart-warming. it makes me feel so happy after reading them.
Thanks. this is all i can say cos i don't know what else to say alre.

oh and daddy is so good on friday morning i was so touched by him.
both of us were running late cos we didn't wake up early enough and despite all that,
he still offered me to drive me to the place i need to go.
lol but i ended up reaching there too early but luckily zoe and friends were having their breakf @ mac :)
and, thanks to people who tried cheering me up . i felt so extraordinarily disorganised for the first time.

it is so stupid when i keep having dumb feelings.

Get to know yourself better

Took a quiz some time back.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

What are you most afraid of
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Happy girl ^^

Helllo!!!!!!!!! I am so so so so happy right now!! Haha no particular reason but just :)
I finished my exams which is so shiok la cos i ended earlier than everybody in my cohort. LOL
Also, recieved many good-luck texts for my exams. Thanks so much darlings! ;) I love you all .
So touched to recieve their texts. hehehehehehe ;D
I'm so happy right now i feel like telling the whole world. You know the feeling? you know you know??
haha,
tomorrow is dance and i am so looking forward to the perf! but i'm oh-so-nevous manzx.
i'm excited about everything, especially my haircut. but i'll have to fork out some time for that.
not really sure when will it be but hopefully asap. can't stand my irritating frine-not-like fringe fringe. lol!

and it's so stupid that :
1. i forgot there is singapore idol today. will catch it on sunday if i have the time. but most probably no :(
2. ms tam told me i got a fking low score for my chinese. sucks to the hell. affected my mood so much for chem paper. but i managed to overcome it not long after :)

one last thing,
i'm so fortunate to have my friends as my friends, and my current classmates as my classmates. I think they are just so cute!
it's not easy to love everyone so i will not force myself to. i hope i stay so happy FOREVER :D

Warm embrace

LOL i took two quizzes and both said i am fit to be an ARTIST. How LOL is that ?!
I suck so much at art and yet the result said I can be an artist.
During this period of time while i was away from blogging, I have learnt quite a lot.
Well, be it on studies, friendship, kinship, etc.

I have learnt that different people lead different types of life. No use fretting over who's better and who's not.
No point getting jealous or depressed over trivial issues. Forget about being sensitive and insulting and carry on with life.
Ignore the shortcomings your friends possess. Think about what's best of them.
Life ain't a smooth one, but it can be if one can solve everything calmly with the right set of mind.
Follow your heart and move on with life. But of course, learn to compromise and think about other's feelings under certain situations.
sometimes,problems may just vanish if you do not trifle with it. So think twice and reflect 'bout the consequences before doing something.
Being too fickle-minded(like what I am still, now) isn't a good thing. One must learn to make correct decisions so as not to leave any regrets behind.
Throw all your sorrows aside, reminisce the good old times =) Aren't they wonderful.
It's always good to be a kid, but nevertheless, one will still grow up someday and face whatever challenges you're destined to face.
So, learn to enjoy life! People change for the better, not for the worst ;)

Oops i just realized my phone is not with me and it's in some corner of the house.Ugh whatever i'll get it later.
Had papers today. It got me drop dead. reached home @ 2 after having lunch with joey and friends>bathed>lying on the sofa for the whole noon.
today was lifeless. but it has been gg on for quite awhile ya. can't wait fr 26oct :E
ok bact to topic. had my papers and it was quite alright. had a few mistakes here and there, but i'm not intending to grumble cos it's alr over.
what'z the use manzx./ oh btw, my latern festival this yr sucked !! raining @ bishan park + menstrual cramps + flu = UGHHHH !!
never had such a bad experience. but oh well there's always next year! heeheee =)
i went to support my sis for her perf, it was great! And really surprisingly i met jiapo there.
had a little chat and he made me laughed. quite dumb actually.

ok i'm done for this post, i'm not studying today cuz i'm extremely lethargic and if i go on this way i think i'll go berserk!
studyin'tmr kayz. :) i hope exams can be over soon. i wna head to the gym.
oh and the perf on ____ , i am so gonna be hell nervous. SHIT.
i love my friends! :) gdnightie peoplez.