If tomorrow never comes

I want to complete this post before the clock ticks to 1159 PM. There is exactly 30 more days to o levels including today. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be left with 29 more days to get prepared. This whole month was totally demoralising. All I felt was demoralised and demoralized. I don't know what's the difference. A friend asked me if I was ready. Honestly, I don't know. That was my reply. I do not have the courage to say that I am well-prepared already. Neither am I entirely unprepared for my national exams.

I know numerous people out there have high hopes on me but I am just not as good as they think I am. Many people keep trying to convince me that I am doing well and complimenting me. Honestly, I am not. However, I do not want to let anyone down. I am trying hard to stay focused and take sufficient rest when needed but I realise I'm outrageous. My time management is horrible and my attention span can be as short as 5 minutes. I though I spent a long time studying and when I unlock my phone and look at the time, only few minutes have passed.

''Not what I expected''. No amount of apologies could compensate the disappointment I brought to people who expected me to do well. I don't know how I should improve myself. I always put so much pressure on myself which results in self-doubt. The fear of not being able to meet with the expectations of my own and of others makes me nervous and cause me to perform badly.

I have actually realised earlier on that I have been enjoying what I am doing all this while. I mean the subject combination. This is what I wanted and I achieved it when I was a Secondary 2 student two years back. However the fear of not being able to do what I like in the future is drowning me. This is the reason I have worked so hard for but why am I on the verge of giving up now?

These are the thoughts that have been haunting me this entire month. You may think it's no big deal or perhaps I just think too much. Then maybe you're right. I guess we ought to reflect on ourselves and hm different people comes up with different conclusions for themselves. So I'd appreciate if you don't judge mine. Please also do not mention this when we are talking because I won't want to talk to you about this. Thanks.

If tomorrow never comes

I want to complete this post before the clock ticks to 1159 PM. There is exactly 30 more days to o levels including today. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be left with 29 more days to get prepared. This whole month was totally demoralising. All I felt was demoralised and demoralized. I don't know what's the difference. A friend asked me if I was ready. Honestly, I don't know. That was my reply. I do not have the courage to say that I am well-prepared already. Neither am I entirely unprepared for my national exams.

I know numerous people out there have high hopes on me but I am just not as good as they think I am. Many people keep trying to convince me that I am doing well and shower me with compliments. Honestly, I am not. However, I do not want to let anyone down. I am trying hard to stay focused and take sufficient rest when needed but I realise I'm outrageous. My time management is horrible and my attention span can be as short as 5 minutes. I though I spent a long time studying and when I unlock my phone and look at the time, only few minutes have passed.

''Not what I expected''. No amount of apologies could compensate the disappointment I brought to people who expected me to do well. I don't know how I should improve myself. I always put so much pressure on myself which results in self-doubt. The fear of not being able to meet with the expectations of my own and of others makes me nervous and cause me to perform badly.

I have actually realised earlier on that I have actually been enjoying what I am doing all this while. I mean the subject combination. This is what I wanted and I achieved it when I was a Secondary 2 student two years back. However the fear of not being able to do what I like in the future is drowning me. This is the reason I have worked so hard for but why am I on the verge of giving up now?

These are the thoughts that have been haunting me this entire month. You may think it's no big deal or perhaps I just think too much. Then maybe you're right. I guess we ought to reflect on ourselves and hm different people comes up with different conclusions for themselves. So I'd appreciate if you don't judge mine. Thanks.

Not going to let emotions over take me

Look, my classmates are so adorable.(Btw, I got this picture from Serene's blog)

This is how I am feeling inside

I've been thinking if I should study with a partner or stick to the way I did during the September holidays. Staying at home alone to complete my revision. Ok crap I even thought of attending English tuition for just one month to brush up on my English. Ok a bit impossible though. However, the problem just lies with my English!

It's a peaceful Saturday night. I feel so... peaceful. K I will update if I have the time and have something to blog about. Anyway, as you can see, some changes have been made to my blog. Like it? I think it is quite average.

I love the weekends

It feels really good to be blogging through my computer again. The screen is bigger and it is more convenient. Everything is just better here. Like finally after 2 to 3 months. Btw, there wouldn't be much updates about my life because it would be much about my studies. Oh and my eyebrows looks damn neat now! Finally got them trimmed!
Ok bye! Enjoy your sunday ahead! :)

Luv you guys max! (I think I'll be having dinner alone tomorrow and the upcoming weekends so if you're having a similar situation like me, text me! We can have dinner together haha.)

When the night turns cold

This is so depressing, there is school tomorrow... I have a feeling something is going to go wrong. My bag is full of books and worksheets. Lol this is due to my laziness teehee I just throw everything I used as reference for homework at any place near me. Tomorrow is going to be a bad day? Please prove me wrong. Goodnight world. :(

Your priced possessions

1. The last doll Po Po got me before she left
2. The bracelet I got for both Joey and I for her 15th birthday
3. The bracelet Joey got for each of us for our 3rd Anniversary
4. All the cards by my fellow friends!
5. That I-don't-know-how-to-describe chain

What are yours? :)

Friends IV

Friend: "What would I do without you?"
Other friend replies: "I don't know."

There isn't anything peculiar to talk to your good friends like this. Besides, you are good friends. I'm actually not very sure what I'm driving at lol. Anyway just remember it's a long journey through every friendship you own, cherish it.

May all friendships stay as long as possible, including mine. God bless.
8 September 2010 12:16 AM

Friends III

My friends always makes me feel blessed. I mean like they are the not the best but they are definitely worth my time to mould this friendship out of us together. I've got one who listens to me, one to shop with me, one that is willing to talk to me about everything under the sun, one that makes me laugh all the time, one that is very understanding, one who makes me smile, one who makes me very happy when I'm around her, one that loves to imitate me, one that always have intellectual(+lame) conversations with me. What more can I ask for? They're awesome.
2nd September 2010 11:11 PM

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ask me qns @ formspring.me/27petals

Friends II

At the end of the day, I just love each and every single one of you even more. My friends are like angels sent down from heaven, every single one of them.

27 August 2010 12:55 AM

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ask me qns @ formspring.me/27petals

Friends I

I am blessed with the most beautiful possessions on Earth and they are my friends. God sends them to me and wants me to build a good relationship with them, treasure it and don't take this opportunity for granted. God wants me to create priceless memories with them and be happy around them.
10 August 2010 10:59 AM

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ask me qns @ formspring.me/27petals :)

Everything has a reason behind it

Hi sometimes I want to salute you for making me look so silly sometimes I have such a huge urge to ask you, how the hell did you do that because I want to do that too. To you. So you know how I feel

Bye ask me qns @ formspring.me/27petals :)

Chapter 24

The mid-summer sunshine was already turning the hayfields khaki and the crops gold. The shades of caramel, gold and camel made the fields, as they stretched into the distance, look as if they had swatches of teddy bear fur laid over them. The trees had lost the vibrancy of spring and their leaves of corduroy ridges and furrows with yellow straw bales looking like great cheeses dotted over the surface. Flowers that had escaped from gardens nodded and bowed in the verges and dotted the grass with rainbow colors. The sky above was deep blue with picture-book fluffy clouds sprinkled across it. The air smelt of flowers and cut grass with a note of wood smoke, and lowing cows and birdsong were all that disturbed the silence.

There is no right or wrong answer. It all depends on your imagination

Shooting stars

Today I talked to Jerald. He said he believes in true love. I don't.

Define happiness

The feeling is inexplicable. I just want to scream, no, squeal. Shrieks of excitement in me are waiting to be released. Then a garden starts to form within me. Flowers bloom and the sun feels so warm. It seems to be welcoming a brand new day with a wide grin. A vast and richly green grassland appears in front of you and you just want to sink into it instantaneously.

OR

A deep blue ocean with seagulls flying above. The whoosh of the slow-paced waves and the softness of the sand is just irresistible. Coconut trees are standing within a few miles from you. You walk a few steps and a seashell could be found under your feet. How wonderful would that be

There are many possible ways of defining happy or happiness. It's a feeling all humans experience. Try it today if you've longed for it. You've got a choice and happiness isn't exactly that far from us, in fact, it has always been there.