After much hesistation, I decided to do a post. My life is forever like this, happiness NEVER stays. I don't know what else I can say. Everytime I try to explain, I just end up stuck somewhere, and people will go alright, lol okay,... These are not what I want to hear from you, but I know I am the irritating who is refusing to pour it out. causing you guys to be bewildered and have no idea on how to help me out. Awesome, you guys are still. Thanks for always being there with me. I have a very simple wish and that is to be happy. Am I being too greedy to ask for happiness life long? Why do some get it then... Why ain't I the one who is supposed to play the role of a happy kid? The laughing all day long, cheerful, take one step, count one day kind of ass? Why am i the one who complain day and night, telling people I am feeling unhappy yet I don't know how to explain myself asshole? I find myself a pain in the ass, won't you get very irritated when i say i want or need to rant but all i end up saying is i don't know , i don't know and more i don't knows? Perhaps I ask for too much, my life just doesn't want to give way to me. I have too much problems on hand to start handling ,
- i just have to stop hoping for things to fall and happen
- i have to say it all out straight in your face
- why did you change?
- i need to pray hard
- i'm so irritated by how you guys are telling me to smile, don't ask me why i don't smile in front of you guys, I just don't, what do you want me to do then?
Still remember few days before the last day of 2009 what I texted you? Now i'm back to square one. just that this time it's another ass
FORGET IT, ANYWAY I WILL UPLOAD THE PICTURES TAKEN ON ZOE'S BDAY SOON. HAVE YET TO GET THE PICTS FROM HER CAM SHE CAN'T SEEM TO UPLOAD THEM TO FB I HAD A LOT OF FUN THAT DAY I MUST SAY ZOE IS SUCH A LUCKY AND BLESSED GIRL WHILE I AM NOT. I'VE SAID THIS TO HER UMPTEEN TIMES WTH... fml
Wednesday, March 31
Sunday, March 28
Saturday, March 27
Saturday, March 20
Friday, March 19
In the recent
- I missed the recent IT fair!! Ugh the carparks were full so we couldn't get in. Daddy wanted to but macbook but tough luck...
- Need to get supplies for hehehehe...
- Hey!!! what are we going to do for zoe's birthday???? Hehe I can't wait
- I know this is mad, but I missed school i was so used to it. But I woke up one morning to realize that there was no school. I felt weird.
- To HUIYI : You have been a great listening ear! Thank you!!!!!!
- So far so good, I am leading a happy life, I found special friends.
- Need to tell myself : HEY YOU ARE STUDYING GEOGRAPHY LATER YIPEEEE YAY YAY HOORAY!
- Adam khoo workshop was certainly cool and fun. Made me laughed my ass off. but i teared in the end and...my classmates saw it i don't know how but i guess you know :)
That day we went out
spot the difference exercise 1!
spot the difference ex 2!
The rest of the pictures should be up on the blogs and fbs of people in the pictures haha. anyway if i did not upload pictures of you and me i'm sorry! cos i don't like that picture not that i don't like you :( hehe
I vivdly remember that night we watch Marley & me. Omg my eyes were like some spoiled water tap I cried till my eyes were swollen shit. I felt my lungs cramped together and I couldn't breath properly. ok you can see how much I miss that best ass friend of mine hee. We intended to ton haha, but they ended up sleeping so early like 2 or 3 am. Left with only serene zoe and i awake. They slept on mattresses while zoe and i slept on the L-shaped sofa and i was so nice to offer zoe the longer side of the sofa and i slept with my legs curled in hahaha. Anyway we were no better, we K.O. at 4+ i think we actually wanted to go buy mac in the morning haha but we were all soundly asleep. Yes, pigs. Anyway i only had like barely 3 hours of sleep before I got woken up again and never sleep back anymore. Joey slept the most lucky girl ;)
Went over to the flyer in the noon with the boys as well. Mad tired i kept trying to sleep on buses but the bus keep jerking and i was stupid enough to think that there was no need for earpiece because I forgot we were taking long bus rides...oh well. I will just bring along my earpiece wherever I go. Lesson learnt but my earpiece keeps giving me problems these days. They went over to plaze for dinner while I went back home I just didn't have the mood for dinner back then.
Thanks girls (Y)
I'VE DECIDED
to give the Taiwan trip a miss.
To Joey/Zoe/Eugenia/and those who consistently insist that all sec 4s must go :
I am sorry... I have thought it over and over again several times. I know it's a rare opportunity that we are able to go overseas together but no, all that fun can wait.
Please don't feel sad/ give me sad faces or plead me anymore...because it will just add to my guilt. Really, I am trying hard not to let anything affect my decision. This is a hard decision to make. So...let's be positive because after our o's and your o's next year, we can still have lotsa fun together in sg, no doubt that having fun in overseas is way better but yup, what matters most is having us together not where we end up @ isn't it :)
Again, I am sorry for being so selfish but still hope that you guys will understand
To Joey/Zoe/Eugenia/and those who consistently insist that all sec 4s must go :
I am sorry... I have thought it over and over again several times. I know it's a rare opportunity that we are able to go overseas together but no, all that fun can wait.
Please don't feel sad/ give me sad faces or plead me anymore...because it will just add to my guilt. Really, I am trying hard not to let anything affect my decision. This is a hard decision to make. So...let's be positive because after our o's and your o's next year, we can still have lotsa fun together in sg, no doubt that having fun in overseas is way better but yup, what matters most is having us together not where we end up @ isn't it :)
Again, I am sorry for being so selfish but still hope that you guys will understand
Feeling sick
Yesterday night I finally managed to complete that fantabulous Marley & me novel. I cried. I went in and out of my room several times to hide in the toilet. There are certain things I would like to share with you guys here :
I was never an animal lover, not even a dog lover. In fact I was scared of animals especially meows. I was only close to our family dog, Piddy. She was a loyal companion to everyone of us in the family. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give her your heart and she will give you hers. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. I couldn't agree more. I know I will never be able to forget her so I choose to turn every memory I had of her into priceless treasures. We proudly brag about our dog, not about how wonderful she is but about just how awful which makes us love her even more. There will never be a replacement for her. There is a lot more I wish to say but only if you'd understand? :)
There is a lot on my mind. I have lots of drafts saved but not posted yet not because I don't want to but because I don't have the time to. Will try to get them all up by today. TRY. Anyway I feel sick, i hope I don't fall sick.
I was never an animal lover, not even a dog lover. In fact I was scared of animals especially meows. I was only close to our family dog, Piddy. She was a loyal companion to everyone of us in the family. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give her your heart and she will give you hers. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. I couldn't agree more. I know I will never be able to forget her so I choose to turn every memory I had of her into priceless treasures. We proudly brag about our dog, not about how wonderful she is but about just how awful which makes us love her even more. There will never be a replacement for her. There is a lot more I wish to say but only if you'd understand? :)
There is a lot on my mind. I have lots of drafts saved but not posted yet not because I don't want to but because I don't have the time to. Will try to get them all up by today. TRY. Anyway I feel sick, i hope I don't fall sick.
Tuesday, March 9
Monday, March 8
It never did crossed my mind
Today, was bad. Sort of but not totally and it's definitely not concerning the workshop or what you call the study camp. I was going through a lot inside and was feeling drowsy becuase I did not have enough sleep. So yea, today didn't went that well. You somehow can just read my mind like god, like you know how to do fortune-telling. Seriously, I h8 you for that because I simply can't read yours. Pls just scram from my life, don't ever talk to me and make my life miserable. Treat it as we never knew each other. I hope I could take things more lightly ugh.
Anyway I can't believe something so ridiculous happened. Or was it me? wth you two make me clap hands, how can something so drastic happen? So this is how your world's about. CRAP.
A PROPER UPDATE ON THE RECENT FRI AND SAT. PROMISE ;)
EDITED (I forgot to add this in)
I miss you like some crazy ass but I know there is no way I can get you back. You already went to a distant place... I miss the touch of you fur, the sound produced when your nails come into contact with the floor, the way you whine, the puppy eyes you had hoping that food will fall from our hands, the way you wag your tail, the way you rush out of the toilet after a bath, the way you blink your eyes, the way you react when I pat you, the way you look into my eyes, the way you sniff, the way you gobble down food, the way you rest your head on the sofa.......You are the greatest gift of all.
Anyway I can't believe something so ridiculous happened. Or was it me? wth you two make me clap hands, how can something so drastic happen? So this is how your world's about. CRAP.
A PROPER UPDATE ON THE RECENT FRI AND SAT. PROMISE ;)
EDITED (I forgot to add this in)
I miss you like some crazy ass but I know there is no way I can get you back. You already went to a distant place... I miss the touch of you fur, the sound produced when your nails come into contact with the floor, the way you whine, the puppy eyes you had hoping that food will fall from our hands, the way you wag your tail, the way you rush out of the toilet after a bath, the way you blink your eyes, the way you react when I pat you, the way you look into my eyes, the way you sniff, the way you gobble down food, the way you rest your head on the sofa.......You are the greatest gift of all.
Saturday, March 6
Here's what I promised you people :)
I had a hard time!
Group picts
During perf
Finale
[Picture credits: Mr. Peter]
To sum it up, chingay was an awesome experience. I especially love the fireworks! They made me melt and feel like I'm in some wonderland. Ok anyway, there will be something else on my list from now onwards. Can't wait for o's to be over! :)
Group picts
During perf
Look at these fireworks! Aren't they making you melt? (Aw, I am)
Finale
[Picture credits: Mr. Peter]
This sure took me a long time! I almost gave up. Did not even uploaded 10% of the total because there is wayyy to much photos. Only pick out certain picts and most importantly pictures during finale!
To sum it up, chingay was an awesome experience. I especially love the fireworks! They made me melt and feel like I'm in some wonderland. Ok anyway, there will be something else on my list from now onwards. Can't wait for o's to be over! :)
Wednesday, March 3
I'm already trying my best can't you see that? Why are you forever unsatisfied with what I do? Am I such an eyesore to you? Then why the hell do you give birth to me in the first place? Why don't you just chuck me into the bin instead? Maybe life would be better for me that way. Seriously, this has been in my heart for too long, I CANNOT take it anymore.
Pardon me, I'm having a huge problem now and I don't know when is it going to end.
EDITED/
I am just too stressed up during this period, I will get over with it soon. Just now I went to read serene's blog and I thought there was something I ought to clarify about myself.
01. Almost always when people ask me a question, I am not processing I will just answer you anyhow because I'm just plain lazy to start the engine in my brain.
02. For the incident last Friday, what I cried for was not purely because of stress. I have a hell lot of problems waiting for me to handle. And big thankyou to people who tried to cheer me up, esp sally and daniel. Daniel always seem to give the support during the time when we need it but other than these, he's usually cranky (lol), ok thanks. I'm getting this moments of gan3 dong4 in the recent from different people. This, is wonderful. THANKS again.
It took me 3 months to get over everything (not referring to anything above), this time it may take me at least half a yr. Great.
Pardon me, I'm having a huge problem now and I don't know when is it going to end.
EDITED/
I am just too stressed up during this period, I will get over with it soon. Just now I went to read serene's blog and I thought there was something I ought to clarify about myself.
01. Almost always when people ask me a question, I am not processing I will just answer you anyhow because I'm just plain lazy to start the engine in my brain.
02. For the incident last Friday, what I cried for was not purely because of stress. I have a hell lot of problems waiting for me to handle. And big thankyou to people who tried to cheer me up, esp sally and daniel. Daniel always seem to give the support during the time when we need it but other than these, he's usually cranky (lol), ok thanks. I'm getting this moments of gan3 dong4 in the recent from different people. This, is wonderful. THANKS again.
It took me 3 months to get over everything (not referring to anything above), this time it may take me at least half a yr. Great.
Monday, March 1
It applies to all.
OK I FAIL MY GEOGRAPHY T.T I damn sad because I did not fail any other except for geog. I don't get it, is it because I don't understand? Don't like the subj? (yes) or just plain lazy to memorise the facts? I think all three's in. How to study geography??? :( I never pass my geog before and worst is I always get last in class. (Almost always) I'm lucky I'm only taking elective geog ha ha.
I am making a very important decision now. To go taiwan or not to go? Hmm I need some advice. Anyhoo, this yr no camp only got study camp:( Sigh make me so sad, do you know I am someone who love camping a lot?? Haha. I really love camping. But last yr's camp was cancelled due to h1n1 and this yr must study for o's then no camp. So sad :( Tmr have o level assesment again, don't know 1 yr how many. Make me so tired. I hope I can perf my best! :)
Yes february is OVER. I have not done anything productive this feb. I promise myself to, but I did not do it. My results were not ideal. I wrote on my physics perf tracking slip (don't know what's that called) "Very disappointed.... (then standard lines like I will work hard bla bla)" It's useless, I can't find time, I can't MAKE time. But since common test is over, I ought to relax abit. I think I'm too tensed up already. Gna get high like mad, laugh till my lungs explode, cry out all my sorrows and get deeper dark circles (this is so LOL) March is here people! It's a new month! Time to start afresh if you haven't though... Anyway feb was really FAB and colorful. Many different things happen. Brand new experiences and sweetness sometimes. just that cny really suck ttm this yr.
It is fantastic when you get to know someone is missing you so badly it feels madly magical you never want to part with that moment but eventually it will go and you will be wondering when will be the next time...and it comes again in another 12 hours (?!) OMG
I am making a very important decision now. To go taiwan or not to go? Hmm I need some advice. Anyhoo, this yr no camp only got study camp:( Sigh make me so sad, do you know I am someone who love camping a lot?? Haha. I really love camping. But last yr's camp was cancelled due to h1n1 and this yr must study for o's then no camp. So sad :( Tmr have o level assesment again, don't know 1 yr how many. Make me so tired. I hope I can perf my best! :)
Yes february is OVER. I have not done anything productive this feb. I promise myself to, but I did not do it. My results were not ideal. I wrote on my physics perf tracking slip (don't know what's that called) "Very disappointed.... (then standard lines like I will work hard bla bla)" It's useless, I can't find time, I can't MAKE time. But since common test is over, I ought to relax abit. I think I'm too tensed up already. Gna get high like mad, laugh till my lungs explode, cry out all my sorrows and get deeper dark circles (this is so LOL) March is here people! It's a new month! Time to start afresh if you haven't though... Anyway feb was really FAB and colorful. Many different things happen. Brand new experiences and sweetness sometimes. just that cny really suck ttm this yr.
It is fantastic when you get to know someone is missing you so badly it feels madly magical you never want to part with that moment but eventually it will go and you will be wondering when will be the next time...and it comes again in another 12 hours (?!) OMG
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